Saturday, February 13, 2010

Confession

Wow, I was challenging myself to get to Oklahoma City by tomorrow, and I really don't think that's going to happen. 

A-hem.  I have a little confession to make. 

Earlier in the week I was crushed when past mistakes came up again.  And I cried.  And I wondered why I even try to reach for dreams when they seem so far away.  Combine that with the fact that despite walking over 100 miles and skimming down in a few areas, I'd only lost 4 pounds and I became mildly depressed for the rest of the week, curled up under blankets and eating way too many biscotti.  (Caramel Latte and Turtle Pecan...yum) 

And then three or four days into my little pity party, I decided I would get on my treadmill and sweat it off.  Only my belt was slipping.  After being jerked forward a dozen or so times, I turned it off in frustration.  Again.  Another goal with an obstacle.  Snow outside, treadmill not working, and Leslie Sansone a bore. 

What is a fluffy, depressed girl to do? I bought a good book, consumed it in little more than 24 hours.  I looked in my bible for hope.  I prayed.  I got hubby to fix my treadmill.  And I worked up a good sweat.  And I released my pent up frustration and my anger and my sadness.  As I finished my book, Just Between You and Me, by Jenny B. Jones, I decided to do what the main character does and surrender all my fears to the One who made me.  And I know it doesn't matter how awkward or out of place I feel or what the world may think of me or what the world may say I am qualified or not qualified to do, my God says I am precious in His eyes and honored, and He loves me (Isaiah 43:4). 

On a good note, I did switch to decaf and start upping veggies and fruit.  And when I weighed in today, holding my breath to see what damage my pity party caused, I am happy to report I'm still four pounds down. 

Oh, and my man made me feel special, arranged childcare himself and took me to see Valentine's Day and shared nachos with me. 

April, I'm still coming.  Just stayed a few nights somewhere north of the Oklahoma line.  ;-)

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