Confession

Wow, I was challenging myself to get to Oklahoma City by tomorrow, and I really don't think that's going to happen. 

A-hem.  I have a little confession to make. 

Earlier in the week I was crushed when past mistakes came up again.  And I cried.  And I wondered why I even try to reach for dreams when they seem so far away.  Combine that with the fact that despite walking over 100 miles and skimming down in a few areas, I'd only lost 4 pounds and I became mildly depressed for the rest of the week, curled up under blankets and eating way too many biscotti.  (Caramel Latte and Turtle Pecan...yum) 

And then three or four days into my little pity party, I decided I would get on my treadmill and sweat it off.  Only my belt was slipping.  After being jerked forward a dozen or so times, I turned it off in frustration.  Again.  Another goal with an obstacle.  Snow outside, treadmill not working, and Leslie Sansone a bore. 

What is a fluffy, depressed girl to do? I bought a good book, consumed it in little more than 24 hours.  I looked in my bible for hope.  I prayed.  I got hubby to fix my treadmill.  And I worked up a good sweat.  And I released my pent up frustration and my anger and my sadness.  As I finished my book, Just Between You and Me, by Jenny B. Jones, I decided to do what the main character does and surrender all my fears to the One who made me.  And I know it doesn't matter how awkward or out of place I feel or what the world may think of me or what the world may say I am qualified or not qualified to do, my God says I am precious in His eyes and honored, and He loves me (Isaiah 43:4). 

On a good note, I did switch to decaf and start upping veggies and fruit.  And when I weighed in today, holding my breath to see what damage my pity party caused, I am happy to report I'm still four pounds down. 

Oh, and my man made me feel special, arranged childcare himself and took me to see Valentine's Day and shared nachos with me. 

April, I'm still coming.  Just stayed a few nights somewhere north of the Oklahoma line.  ;-)

The Simple Woman's Daybook

Outside my window....rain.  Rain, rain, and more rain.  Feels almost like home and yet I am craving golden sunshine to drive away my desires to hibernate under a blanket all day. 

I am thinking...about my classroom, ways to make it a cozy, warm homelike learning environment that whispers, "come, unfurl the mysteries I hold here."

I am thankful for...hope.  Hope that things might get better and more secure soon. Hope that God has a place planned for Bob and a place planned for me and a place for us to build wonderful new relationships. 

I am wearing...double lined navy blue Nike pants and a white long sleeved shirt that echoes the outdoors and "winter wonderland" and written all over it and tiny snowflakes.

I am remembering...my trip to visit my aunt and grandma in Vegas, when my mom and I drove straight through, very delirious, and were greeted by the hot sun.  I am remembering tank top dresses and vacation condos and laughter.  And the sun, did I mention that?

I am going...to a training class for childcare licensing in the state of Texas tomorrow.  I am excited that when it is over, I will have some sort of time line for when I can open my home for children to come learn with Emily and Noah. 

I am currently reading..."Designs for Living and Learning," which totally excites me (I know, I'm such a teacher).

On my mind...Lost, which I'm about to watch with hubby. Unlike the rest of the world, I'm only on Season 2.  I can't believe Shannon got shot and Walt got taken and Sawyer is being a bad boy, again.  But I'm so hooked. 

Noticing that...I've walked 130 miles and cut portion sizes and have not dropped one size yet.  It can get a little de-motivating if I don't remember how good I feel after I work out and tell myself, if I'm going to be fluffy, at least I can feel good.

I am pondering...the lyrics to David Crowder Band's "How He Loves."

From the kitchen...biscotti and decaf chai latte.  I have developed a recent madness for both. 

Around the house...piles of folded laundry that hasn't made it into drawers and closets yet.  This is common around the Ford house.  So is, "Mom, I can't find any socks."

One of my favorite things...heat.  Hot shower, clothes fresh out of the dryer, puff of hot air from the oven, warm blankets, sweaters, beanies, socks, scarves....just delicious.
From my photos: Jadyn's chalk drawing of a cat.  My favorite piece of art right now.  :-)

Breathe in the simple moments.