The Woman I Can Be

Lately I've been struggling with my morning quiet time.  I'm tired. It's cold[er] in the morning and I really really love the happy cozy snuggly warm place that I first wake up in.  The idea of getting up and being cold does not make me happy.  So I hit the 5 minute snooze button on my cell phone over and over and over until I must get up and get ready, get the kids out the door to school, and greet my first family for the day. And then I'm not prepared in my spirit to face whatever the day, or even the first 20 minutes, might bring.

It's not a good thing.

Last, night, however, I was reminded of a time I stayed at a friend's home overnight. When we came downstairs the next morning there was worship music playing and we all sat around in pjs, drank coffee, and listened to God being praised.  And it was so peaceful and wonderful.  And so I had the epiphany last night that I should try this.

So I did.

I got up, opened I-tunes, started my coffee, and snuggled with my blanket on the couch, listening.  My spirit was ushered into His Presence and prayer came without my having to force it, groggy and falling asleep every two words.  I greeted the kids cheerfully.  I feel prepared in my spirit for whatever today may bring, and I am at peace instead of whiny tired.  I am beginning my day feeling so blessed to be repurposed for His using and available for His work in my life. 

If you don't have a quiet time with the Lord each morning, a way to usher in the day in His Presence, a way to focus the day on His purposes ... get one.

Here are some things I find helpful:

• Begin in the same place each day.  It becomes a special place and a ritual. Trust me.
• Light a candle and only light it during your time with the Lord.  Then you will see over time how much time you're spending with your Creator. 
• Play music to begin and to focus your thoughts on God and God alone.  
• Begin with 5 minutes if that's what you have. You'll get hooked and never want to leave. I promise. 
• Be consistent.  Every day. Same time. Do it.
• Ask the Holy Spirit to show you something new about the Father each day.  He will do it. Guaranteed.  
• Plan for it as you go to sleep. Get excited about it the night before.  Then ask the Lord to help wake you up.  It's amazing the different ways God has woken me up when I've asked Him to: a crying baby that goes back to sleep once I'm out of the bed, a sudden noise in my dream that wakes me, a simple popping the eyes open, a text message.  God loves the time you spend with Him. He's jealous for it.  He'll help you begin the habit.
• Don't give up.  If you sleep in one day, try again the next day. Be persistent. Be intentional.  The mornings I get lazy I always regret later in the day. 

The truth is I'm half the woman I could be without my morning time with the Lord, some time to sit at His feet and worship Him for who He is and listen for what He would have me do.

I much more prefer to be all the woman I can be.

For more inspiration to get your quiet time ritual started, go here.

Glass Half Empty

It was just another chaotic busy weekday evening. Noah was going around pulling books off shelves, pillows off couches, papers off the counter.  Emily was demanding to eat, now.  Kayli was rolling her eyes, huffing and puffing, and giving attitude.  And I was on the brink of grabbing a pillow and screaming into it.  On the brink of losing total control, and though I don't often do so, it's not pretty.

Then Jadyn said [loudly], "You said you were going to schedule a date with me.  You said yesterday we were going to put it on the calendar. You lied." Stomp, stomp, stomp.  And me, [even louder]: "Well you try putting dinner on the table, wiping butts, cleaning up messes, doing laundry, helping with schoolwork, remembering appointments and see how you do." Stomp, stomp, stomp. 

While I'm all for keeping promises, being reminded on an hourly basis of what I'm not doing is really annoying.  As I washed dishes and fumed, God quietly spoke to my heart and gave me some perspective.  Somewhere along the way we had become a glass-half-empty family.  I realized what I sound like when I speak to them.

You didn't clean your room.
You didn't put that toy away.
You didn't brush your teeth.
You didn't put those clothes away in the drawer after you walked them all the way up to your room. (I mean really, is it that hard?!)

Now sometimes obligations need to be met and disappointments need to be pointed out.  I'm not saying I need to ignore when these times happen.

But I do need to set a new norm.  

And while it would be nice to say from now on I'll only point out the things they have accomplished, that's not realistic.   Changing how I speak is incredibly hard.

I am, however, very aware of my tendency to point out my own mishaps and failures and areas where I've fallen short of the goal.  Just a few days ago, I caught myself, again, as I was going through old postings and seeing all the goals I made nearly a year ago that I've made almost no progress on.  I literally made myself stop, change focus, and write down all the goals I did meet, all the changes I did make, all the ways the end of this year will be different from the beginning.

To reinforce the habit of looking at the glass-half-full in our family, I'm ending each day by writing in my journal everything I did accomplish during the day rather than agonizing over every little thing still left to do.  I'm celebrating the steps I move forward rather than lamenting the road yet untraveled.  I pray that as I change my own attitude, the words I speak to my children will change.  I pray that a spirit of praise will inhabit our home rather than a spirit of criticism.

Honey, I'm Home

It's been a long time.

New look.
New challenges.
New home.
New focus.