enough time

have you ever used the phrase, "i don't have enough time?" 

i could have had more quality time with my family, but i just didn't have time to. 

i meant to organize such and such, but i just didn't have time to. 

there's so much i want to do, but i never have time to.

i want to write, it's my passion, but i can never find the time to.

there's just not enough time.

i need more hours in my day.

not having enough time is a lie from our enemy. God created time and said it was good.  the problem is not the 24 hour day the Creator has given us.  the problem is lack of balance ... the too much in our day.

sometime's there are simply seasons, seasons maybe you didn't ask for, where you know there is too much and you need God's strength to help you through, to bring you the balance you need.  but a season is all it should be, not a lifelong lack.  

if you're lamenting a lack of time, believe God has given you enough time.  figure out instead what the too much is in your day and ask God to show you what should stay and what should go. 

the process

crafts.

clean home.

well-behaved kids. 

a well-written paper.

good grades.

the ability to achieve something new. 

all of these things are great. awesome. and they all have something in common: 

they are products.

i used to do everything for a product, an end result. finito.

i aim for the process now.  

art.

a home that works for my family, that flows with our daily living.

kids that are the sum of their daily experiences and their God-given abilities.

the art of writing, the act of putting what's inside of me on paper.

learning, the accessing of knowledge to grow myself and make my life better.

the doing something that i couldn't before and enjoying the journey. 

perfectionism slips away as i embrace the process over the product.

letting go

As I walk through my living room, I trip over a plastic horse, step over a duplo block, push aside with my toe a pencil and avoid slipping on my daughter's sweater, sprawled haphazardly across the wooden floor.  As I enter the kitchen, I notice that only about 30% of my counter space can actually be seen amongst the receipts, pens, tiny toys I've gathered from the floors of my home, notes, and other randoms that simply don't have an immediate home.  I'm currently working on three areas of stuff that need to be put away, boxes left to "unpack," or things gathered that belonged in a particular room but have yet to be fully emptied.

I've had enough. With all this stuff I feel like I can't breathe.  I can't go out for a run because all I can think about is the three boxes of stuff in my room I still need to put away. I can't nestle into a story with my kids because I still have to sort through seven boxes of "storage" out in the garage. I've spent much of today doing about ten loads of laundry, at least 20% of which I"m certain was never actually worn by my kids.

Some of the stuff I'm sorting through I hesitate to get rid of because I may need it someday.  I haven't used it in the last year, but I MIGHT.  Therefore I toss it into a pile to be kept, stored someplace for another year in the name of WHAT IF?

Then I hear God lovingly whisper, "What if? What if, whenever you need something, I provide it for you?"

I've realized holding on to something in case I might need it someday is actually fear that God will not provide me with what I need when I need it.  

So, I'm letting go.  This past weekend I gave away 8 boxes of stuff I was holding onto for a garage sale, a garage sale I'll never actually have time to do.  Four boxes' contents I advertised on Freecycle and those items went to families who could actually use them.  Four boxes' contents I'm donating to a local pregnancy resource center that will support the prevention of abortions.

I'm letting go of the $200 bridesmaid dress I wore one time to a wedding and will never wear again.  I'm letting go of boardgames we will never play.  I'm letting go of books I will never read.

I am challenging myself this week to let go of 10 items a day that I no longer need.  That's 50 items by Friday.  I might even keep a running list and post it at the end of the week. ;-)

What do you need to let go of and trust God for in the event of "what if"?